I read A Lover's Discourse by Roland Barthes

Instead of flights of fancy and bliss, this book makes love seem usually unpleasant. But, when Barthes says "A figure is established if at least someone can say: That's so true! I recognize that scene of language", I had to admit I was doing a lot of this while reading this book. I often don't like who I am when I fall in love-- I become even more neurotic, reactive, unreasonable... it seems like a similar stupidity passive effect to being angry... both of which are states which can be subsumed under the "passions." A lot of love is waiting, thinking, re-thinking, and disappointment, even in the midst of its consummation, even with the love object present. I loved the sources on love he brought together, truly a wonderful/weird sensibility that I feel a kinship with as someone who feels a crush as extreme, often unpleasant, but also vital, also exhilarating existential wrangling. Read, at the very least, for clarity on things as specific and scrupulous as why "I feel the same" is a blatantly inadequate response to the love-cry(!!) of "I love you!"